Once more this is a personal set of systems. In this case it’s for arguing without being the biggest asshole. Should be at least 2nd.
I have a set of rules that I use in arguments. But first we would need to agree on the goal of an argument, and then the way we should go about that.
Aims of an Argument
- Get your idea or point of view across.
- This should be understandable. There shouldn’t be ambiguity in your point.
- Understand their point. They have a point and it should also be understood.
- Convince or be convinced.
Those are the key aims, but people often only care about aim 1, and even then don’t particularly care about the subaim.
How do I try to make the argument more pleasant?
Rules of an Argument
- Don’t go to insults.
- The most important rule.
- Nobody is going to go “yes, I agree with this person that has spent a while insulting me personally.”
- You won’t either.
- Simple language.
- Everyone should understand you.
- Experience is often better than the derived opinion.
- Maybe you read a thing you can sumarise.
- Are you going to trust what someone says?
- It’s not always right to argue.
- Don’t argue if it’s not going to go anywhere.
- Don’t make yourself out to be super awesome and better for not arguing.
- You are unlikely to change an opinion.
- Accept it.
- Nobody wins.
- Loudest one loses.
- If you have to be louder to “win”, it doesn’t look good.
- Rule 5 for why it’s very not good.
- Sometimes you’re wrong.
Generally I stick to these rules. But because of rule 5, it’s never about winning.